Monday, October 25, 2004
You are a big liar! At least I can say it even if I don't have enough evidence that you are one. But still, that was enough. My eyes did not know what to believe anymore. For the nth time, you're not for real. I can't imagine how could you do that? Lying to me? While I was so honest to you? Damn! Your pants should really be set on fire!
I am really ranting. And all I can say when I saw "the stuff" was "Grabe... grabe... TANG INA!!!". I wish not to get mad... and I am not mad... I just can't imagine how u managed all those lies -- if ever I prove them true. Ibang klase ka, walang kupas!!! And I guess that what makes you different. Your whole life is a lie.
While I am typing this, I thought I could offer a prayer for this liar. Here goes...
I forgot to pray for someone knina sa mass. I am praying for my friend. And you know who that is. I am not sure if the things my friend told me were lies but I dunno how to judge "the stuff". Lord, guide and lead my friend to the path of truth and goodness. Bless this creature, dear Lord. Change and make my friend understand that people are hurting whenever he doesn't tell the truth. And all the more my friend hurts himself. Ikaw na bahala Lord. Basta Ikaw. Amen.
And after typing that prayer, I found myself thinking about my friend and at the same time singing: Waaaah! Liar, liar! Pants on fire!!!
Damn! You should also be dead before sunrise!
so she thinks she's all-knowing. god, i can't take her... she really, really annoys me. and the thing about me is that when i am annoyed, m sure ul know it. i am so transparent.
she is so insensitive. i can't stand her. but then again, i won't let her get into my nerves. for i, the future dominatrix, am destined to greatness. she's crap.
i want her to vanish. i want to haul myself to siberia and shout till my tonsils burn how much i despise her. but then again, why should i bring happiness to people i loathe by obliterating myself when i can make them miserable just by existing? does she hate me more than i hate her? damn.
yes, oh yes.
finally i started a blog of my own. m not rly used to reading blogs or even writing my own journal but i guess this will help me with my day to day thoughts. haha..
it's just weird that whenever m asked to write my column, i cnt get myself started. and even if i do, it's no help. i never get satisfied. and now that m not required to write anything for the paper, words just flow out and i myt just end up writing poems for the dead. we'll see.
just wntd to share:
i spoke to him last nyt and yes, i was again dazed and crazed. though his three weeks of silence did not affect me anymore, speaking again with him made me feel a little..."wow". yes, the dear fallen angel and future world dominatrix feels "wow" once in a while. there were no mushy moments though. just plain, pure conversation with jokes and laughter.
he then told me he will call again. and for the nth time, he did not.
to this moment:
m waiting for my thesis mate garet in this crumpy csj ofis. let me tell u sumthin abt this csj ofis. it's not so crumpy after all. only if this room can write or speak, m sure it abhors the csj people. y is that? bcoz everyone who comes in the ofis will surely have the words thrown out of his/her mouth: putang ina ang hirap ng test ko OR shit, bagsak nanaman ako OR oh my gosh, i can't believe this is happening (did i hear myself there?) OR tangina!!!! basted nanaman ako!! (hahaha.. u know who u are...)
so there you go... if only these four walls can say sumthin... or move... i'm sure it feels so much hatred. just the way we all feel wen we are here.
and i am here. alone again.
+ For the Greater Glory of God! +