Friday, September 30, 2005
I once asked my mom what traits did I inherit from her and from dad. It took her a while to answer.
Mom said I inherited her's and her whole clan's love for sleeping. Yeah, it's true. I see a bed and I feel sleepy. I become idle and I feel sleepy. I am bored with you and I feel sleepy. Ergo, I can sleep anytime, anywhere, with anyone, and in any position.
Mom said I inherited dad's tolerance for "puyatan". True, true. I sleep really late. And when I have to wake up really early, say for a special trip, I don't sleep at all. I can go on without sleep for days and still look fully charged.
See, I have an ironic set of traits. I love sleeping yet I can last without sleep. But when I think about it, maybe the reason why I feel sleepy most of the time (especially in the morning) is because I lack sleep from the previous night.
Simply put, night time is the morning to me and vice versa. That's why I feel much more alive during midnight.
But still, not everybody can do that. I consider that a skill. My friend Hayden can't do that. She has to sleep three days straight to stay for a one-night gimmick. Diba, Hayden? Harharhar!
So I gotta thank mom and dad for giving me the weirdest hybrid of the weirdest gene combination. I can't ask for more. Really.
I have this chromatography report tomorrow and I have to download stuff from the net to enhance my report.
Thing is, I'm using a dial-up and connection is free and fast during off peak hours (12:00 am to 8:00 am). Therefore, it's a perfect fit for my lifestyle.
Thank God I'm my dad's daughter.
I know I should be in school working my ass off in the lab for my thesis. It was different when I woke up this morning. I felt tired of all the pressure, of all the things expected of me. I'm tired of people breathing down my neck.
I can't cry. I tried once but mom said I made my choice so why regret it? Therefore, I can't cry. I have to show I'm strong. I have to prove I can do it.
I figured I'm not that strong. At one point, I need to release it, let it all out. Honestly, I was thinking of a happy post. How dad orders pizza whenever I'm home (because most of the time I'm not) or how I cleaned my room this morning because it looks like it's been hit by a disco dancing centipede.
I dunno. I just then I felt sad. And I've got no one to share my sadness with.
It's dark here and I'm lonely. Only because I have time to be lonely.
Living here is bitter as dying.
I rememeber it vividly. It was May of last year when the youth of MHC parish were preparing for our parish priest Fr. Monchit's birthday.
Peter, Leah, and myself volunteered to prepare the video presentation. We tagged Anna to help us out. We asked George if he can do a part in the video. Alvin, who was busy giving Drums lessons in the workshop, took his time to help out too. Nica also joined the program committee.
Our 7-man team travelled across south Metro Manila. We did interviews with Fr. Monchit's family at Makati Bel-Air. We also went to the places very important to him. We even went to Price Smart in Alabang to feature the place where he buys his groceries but then the guard saw us shooting and tried to take our video cam. Of course, we have super powers so the guard wasn't able to get the cam from us. All these adventures and more because of our birthday surprise. The surprise that started a wonderful friendship.
We then started hanging out together. Malls, coffee shops, even at gas stations. Then George's expression "It's not!" evolved to "Ish noit!" then finally to "Shnoitz!"
Shnoitz came to have "secondary members." Raffy became barkada when he jammed with Anna and George in the band formed to perform in one of the youth's activitites. Patrick came in when he did a part in the youth's stage play last summer.
It's been more than year since Shnoitz started. We now have our own stuff to do. We only meet each other during Sundays when we hear mass. It's sad to know that we are too busy to meet and make tambay. Anna's busy with office stuff in HSBC. Peter is turning himself into a "matinik na lawyer" in one of the law firms in Makati. Leah is drinking lotsa beers in San Miguel (actually, she's in purchasing). George is in Quezon City answering calls for a call center. Nica does the same in Ortigas. Alvin is hitting drums for his band. Raffy is getting through college. Pat, likewise, is busy with school. And I am struggling with my masterals.
This afternoon, I was very much surprised when I found the Shnoitz almost in complete attendance during the mass. Almost complete, except that George was asleep from his graveyard shift and Alvin had something better to do. It was like a reunion. It's been weeks since I last saw Anna and Raffy, and months since I last saw Pat and Nica.
After the mass, we gathered for a shot.
Then it was back to our own lives. While some went home, Leah, Peter and I thought to eat dinner in SM. I was craving for sisig so I suggested that we eat at Gerry's. While waiting for our orders, posed for the several shots.
The thing is, we are fond of having scenes when the three of us take pictures. Like, how will we look when we see a ghost, or how do we look when we're about to be hit by a bus.
This scene: when we see a naked guy pass by.
I can't remember what this next scene is about. I think it's about seeing George with, ehem, "someone."
We took other pictures but I don't think Peter and Leah would be happy to see them online. The pics were too.. uhmm.. wacky.
And the celebration never stops.
Last night, it was the Department of Chemistry's turn to treat us for passing the Chemist Licensure Exams. They said it was actually the College of Science's "blow-out". Students' money eh?
We met in school at around 4:00 in the afternoon for a thanksgiving mass at Pedrosa Hall. Just before the mass started, Kit took out his tripod, and of course we knew what that means. I got my camera and took the first shot of the day.
Yes, I do. Robinsons here I come!
This was just like the necklace worn by the girl from the Close Up commercial. The Close Up commercial where Sam appeared. Yes, the Sam from Pinoy Big Brother. The Sam Chx is dying for.
Can't wait to go back to Robinsons. The mall's excellent. The voice-over from the Department Store said the mall will soon have a sale. That's even more excellent.
My shopping spree is nigh. I hear the Rebecca Bloomwood in me ready to unleash itself.
I do intend to say something about the show Pinoy Big Brother which is aired everyday on TV. But while doing this post I suddenly felt like not posting my thoughts anymore.
Just an insight, I think the Filipino people are not ready yet for this kind of show. I personally do not see it as the "Teleserye ng tunay na buhay."
Sorry, but it's just not what many expected it to be.
Oh, and with a new housemate and how this girl Chx is swooning over him, let me quote Venz for this one, "Chx, makati ka pa sa higad."
I love everything about chemistry. It's a very, very interesting branch of science and biology does not even come close to it (sorry, bio majors!). It's the central science and everything on this earth and in the universe revolves in it, from the fusion of hot space gases to the structure of biomolecules.
I love everything about it, except for one. I abhor, despise, and absolutely loathe Organic Chemistry. Which, by the way, is one major problem.
If I could just go through this MS course without having to take any Organic Chemistry-related subjects, I would be a crazy, raving, terribly-happy bunny. But that's not the case. It's impossible not to take this subject, well, because it's one of the major branches of chem (or so they say it is).
Honestly, I don't know why I can't ace this subject. I've had nearly five semesters of Organic Chemistry but I'm sure it's really not my cup of tea. I don't get most of the topics in a jiffy. For me, taking Organic Chemistry is like having your head placed on a chopping board with a blade waiting to strike down your neck. The only difference is that, it doesn't happen fast. Instead, it slowly cuts down your neck and you feel every vein burst just like how it is in Kill Bill. That's gross.
God, it's really hard. And it pains you to death.
Like now, I am preparing for my Organic Chemistry midterm this afternoon but no matter how I try to read the lecture notes I can't seem to understand most of the principles. And the terms. The terms make my head spin to infinity. That's the real killer.
In the board exam, I had the lowest grade in Organic Chemistry. Way lower than my other scores.
I'm hopeless. Kuya Jess, please help me.
It's a lazy Sunday. It's been days since my last post. I've been itching to touch the computer, I haven't gone online for almost half a week. So even if I have to study for a midterm (yes, a midterm. AGAIN.), I found time to post something here.
I'm just bumming around. Still too lazy to study. I'm not exactly a morning person, I feel so much alive during midnight. Maybe I'll study tonight, when brain is all up and running.
Right now, my system's down. And I'm brain-dead.
Watching Wicker Park now. I love this movie.
It was raining hard when I left school. I thought, since I live at the other end of the world, it might not be raining in Paranaque anymore.
Boy, was I wrong.
The uncooperative weather didn't stop me from doing what I planned to do tonight. I went to SM with my clothes wet because of the rain. Believe me, my umbrella was not enough to protect me. Since the mall would be closing in a few minutes I have to hurry and buy my sister's favorite cake. And I bought candles too.
This is the first time I bought my sister a cake for her birthday. I dunno why it never occured to me before. Never had moolah during September fourteens for the past thirteen years, I guess.
It was dramatic, really. I dunno why but going home got me really excited. When I got home, I didn't waste any time. I had to light up the candles.
And of course take a shot with my sister.
Happy birthday, my dear sister Jhozelle! I cannot ask for a more adorable and wonderful sister! Four more years before your legal age!
Apparently, passing the board was a big deal to the department. That's why up to this day the greetings and the warm smiles from my professors still kill me like hell (I love them all!).
Last Monday was Ma'am Cora's birthday and she invited the newly licensed chemists to party with her. I went to Megamall with Erick and Chris last Saturday to buy her a gift. We first thought of buying her a bag but we can't find a bag that feels "right". So we turned to my favorite stuff (also my favorite when it comes to gift-giving): shower paraphernalia. We chose the Body Shop's strawberry shower set over Marks and Spencer's Waterlily collection. I personally bought her a cake as my individual gift.
Come lunchtime of September 12. While trying to keep myself from falling into ecstasy with Ma'am Agui's lullaby-like lecture (because her voice is so soft), my batch mates were already enjoying Ma'am Cora's feast. After my class, I went straight to the Chem Dept to join them eat lunch in what used to be our Instru lab. It was the first time we were gathered again after the board exam. It was just like a celebration for us. And of course we did what we do best (besides breaking glasswares, staining lab gowns, and recrystallizing shabu in the Rotavap): pose for photo sessions.
But the thing is, we used Teij's cam. She hasn't uploaded the photos yet.
Will post the photos as soon as she gets them online.
After the board exam, my six other MS classmates couldn't agree more with me: after the board, everything ended.
I'm not sure if it's just my board exam hangover (you know I'm still on cloud 9) or it's my laziness prevailing over me. I used to think the board exam was the ultimate test and now that I have passed that test, I feel my studying motivation is over.
Oh Jess, please help me with this. I know you brought me to this, please bring me through this. =)
Sheila told me to write something about her. Will do, Shi. I'll think of something.
Teij and Meenay told me a while ago that this Friday is Barx Day. Celebration again. Still not sure if I can come. Dang.
Haaay. I terribly miss my barx.
I cannot promise this is my last post about topics related to the board exam. It's just hard to do that right now. So hard.
I felt the need to reward myself (because I love myself, thank you very much) with something for a job well done. So I thought I'd buy something I always wanted, something I didn't buy before because the need did not strike me hard. But then, a few weeks before the boards, after spending countless hours in the library trying to study in two days a book we covered for three semesters, I figured I was near insanity. Thanks to Chris and her handy music machine for keeping me on the, ehem, right track.
Then it hits me. Say it's a fad but yes, I've decided to buy an iPod. And it's pink!
I've always wanted it but I felt I can still survive with my mobile phone's music player or with CSJ's (or the council's) mp3s. Then my mobile phone became useless and I no longer have the guts to use CSJ's computer. I know I need music to keep me studying for hours, to keep me up, to keep me alive. So what's the solution? Sheesh.
It's a little late for this iPod now. I will no longer stay for hours and hours in the library (yeah, because I'm a lazy person) to study for the board exam but I still have a year to go before my MS course ends. I still have my long hours in the lab trying to make the right sensor/e-nose for cooking oil quality sensing. I still need to spend time looking for journal articles. I still have many shuttle rides with radios tuned in the "Kukurukuku, kailangan pa bang i-memorize yan?" frequency. I still have a lot of reasons why I need to enjoy my iPod.
Like right now, studying for my midterm tomorrow is a big bummer. I am not in the mood to study but I am in the mood to take a picture.
Yes, I tried to study the reactions of carbon nucleophiles with carbonyl groups but I've read the same sentence for over twenty times and I still can't get what it says.
But what's the point? I have good music to keep me company. =)
I got to school at around 4 pm and knowing that I was too early for my 6 pm class, I went straight to the College of Science to kill time.
The very first thing that caught my eye was the bright yellow announcement sheet posted outside the Dean's office. I came to look closer: it's the list of the graduates who passed the chemistry board. The announcement might have been posted in the morning and by the time I read it, the whole College have probably seen it.
The undergrads I know congratulated me as I passed by the corridor. I met some of my professors when I came to the Chem Dept. Dr. Binag gave me a beso, Dr. Menguito hugged me, the other professors were so happy not only for me but for the whole batch. Even the people in Dean's office as well as the lab technicians were saying "well done" to us.
Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying.
I am not over the board results yet and I just can't help but feel very happy. The very fact that so many people made me feel appreciated, God, it was amazing. When I came to the department and saw my professors' faces, I can tell they were pleased and proud with the results. It was like saying, "You never failed us." And the thing is, I have never seen them like that before. It felt so good, really. So good I can't find the words to describe it.
Again for the nth time, thank you so much to the people who inspired us, prayed for us, and helped us. I lift all of you to Jess. May He always bless you and your loved ones. =)
Noticed anything new? Yes, my blog has a new look.
I worked for 2 nights to finish this template. I had a hard time figuring out how to correct the wrong codes because I am not very familiar with programming. I sort of had to study the codes, compare them, and do trial and error to get the codes right.
So what do you think about the new template? I might change it next week though because I saw this other template I also want to try out.
Dang. I'm sleepy. But I can't sleep. Have an 8 am class. And oh! I have to pass my homework. And I was not able to do it. Oh shit...
From Ate Peachy. Kuz, this got me thinking!
Seven Things That Scare Me
1) Lose a very important person
2) A hurricane hitting the Philippines (that's too impossible but who knows?!)
3) Failure in any of my subjects
4) Big, big fire
6) Bad-looking guys who stay on the street at midnight
7) My plane crashing into the sea
Seven Things I Like The Most
4) Bags, yeah!
6) My computer
Seven Random Facts About Me (I posted 20 random facts about me already. I just have to repeat some of the posted items)
1) I am named after a Bible character
2) I used to live in Hong Kong but never learned how to speak Cantonese fluently
3) My 18th birthday was Wild Wild West-inspired
4) I feel sad when it rains
5) I cannot ride a bicycle
6) I share my room with my sister to this day
7) I used to think Ian Veneracion was gorgeous. Dang me.
Seven Important Things In Our Bedroom
1) Aircon (but I never get to use it all the time because our electricity bill's going sky high)
2) My bed and pillows
3) My kikay organizer hanging on the wall
4) My bags
5) My shoes/slippers
Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
1) Meet the Pope
2) Earn a Nobel Prize (woohoo!)
3) Touch the Shroud of Turin
4) Touch the Cristo Redentor in Brazil
5) Buy a whole collection of bags from Nike
6) Meet Holden Caulfield
7) Star in a movie entitled "Bukas Babango Kami" (CSJ-inspired)
Seven Things I Can Do
1) Sleep/eat/drink/be merry (harhar!)
2) Sleep anywhere, any place, any time!
3) Make shabu (now, professionally =))
4) Easily cry at anything
5) Stay up all night (even 48+ hours straight, just like now)
6) Text without looking at the keypad
7) Drink C2 all day
Seven Things I Can't Do
1) Ride a bike
4) Stay and watch anime
5) Forget Jess
6) Trade Jess for anything
7) Eat yucky foods (like in Fear Factor)
Seven Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
(can I skip this? I don't exactly look for certain things. I evaluate the whole lot. Haha!)
Seven Things I Say The Most
1) Oh My God! (Tama ka dyan Ate Pea!)
3) Shiiieeet (emphasis on the "i")
6) & 7) (ermm, cant think..)
Seven Celeb Crushes (whether foreign or local)
1) Johnny Depp
2) Ashton Kutcher
3) Keanu Reeves (even if he's gay)
4) Chris Klein
5) Maroon 5 drummer
(Cant think of two more)
This is the part where it all pays off.
I was not home when I received a text message from Garet. I just finished playing badminton and I was all wet with sweat when I read her message: Check our Yahoo! Group. Board result is posted.
She actually told me my board result but telling you right away won't be very nice so I'll make it more exciting for this post.
Phone calls were made, text messages were sent, and finally I went home to personally check the list. I thought I can see it in the PRC website, but no. It's not available there yet. So I called up Teij and asked her where can I find the list (I don't want to check our Yahoo! Group because it's just reposted there. I want to see the REAL list). She told me to check the Inquirer website.
Clicked the link and downloaded the PDF file. And this popped on my screen
And now the post about the board.
I took the test last Monday and yesterday, September 5 and 6. The results shall be released tonight so till then I have to suffer the board jitters.
The exam was hard. As in HARD. I never expected the questions especially in Physical Chem. It made me feel stupid about chemistry, like I don't know anything about it. And the thing is, I always finish first while the others were sweating and crying with blood. But then, that's overly emphatic.
My philosophy is simple. I'm sure I studied everything I can. And I try hard to recall everything I read. But when I encounter a question and I dunno how to answer it, I do three things: 1) I read the question again, 2) think if the question being asked falls under the topics I read, 3) when I finally give up, I use my instinct and shade the answer that I feel is correct/possible. Why should I let myself suffer? I dunno the answer, I tried thinking, but I still dunno the answer. Why should I force myself when I know I can't find the answer in my head?
That's why I finish early when I take exams. I don't let myself suffer.
The board was, well, I don't know how to describe it. It was generally hard. But then, I should be expecting that. It's just that I was not expecting it to be like THAT.
I just want to share some thoughts I had after the board. Here are some of the things I thought were important for me to know:
1) The number of ATPs and NADHs the glycolytic pathway produces with one mole of glucose.
2) The nucleophilic aromatic substitution proceeds by the replacement of a halide with a hydroxy on the aromatic ring when there are electron withdrawing groups attached to the ring.
3) Energy is lost when electrons move from a higher to a lower energy level where the transition is accompanied by the emission of a photon of light.
4) The rate of diffusion will be faster for gases with smaller molecular weights.
5) Acidic sulfide is important to precipitate group 2 cations.
...and a lot more.
I thought of the most common questions I encounter in chemistry. These are the questions that truly defines chemical principles. After all, that's what's important. But after the board, I realized what were important to the examiners.
1) Instead of knowing how much energy is produced by sugar intake, it is more important to know the enzyme that catalyzes substrate level phosphorylation in the glycolytic pathway.
2) Instead of knowing that benzene undergoes not only electrophilic aromatic substitution but also nucleophilic substitution, it is more important to know that it does not undergo SN1 or SN2 reaction.
3) Instead of knowing a bit of Quantum Mechanics as a vital part of Physical Chem where some concepts root, it is more important not to ask anything about it.
4) Instead of knowing how one gas can diffuse faster than the other, it is more important to know which among four given gases will not make a rubber balloon rise in the atmosphere.
5) Instead of knowing the principles that separates ions in a mixture (which you took up for a whole sem) and how ions dissociate to conduct electricity, it is more important to know how strong ions are when they are in solutions.
The board coverage is so wide you'll never know what to expect. It's so impossible to know everything.
I can't do anything now. I thought of looking at my books and see if my answers were correct. But then again, what for? Now it's just PASS or FAIL.
Check the board exam results online. Click this.
In a few hours I shall know if I am now a professional chemist or it's "better luck next time". Yeah, yeah. Jitter, jitters!
I had time only for a short post last sunday and I wasn't able to post my adventures last weekend so I'm posting this only now.
I was talking to Emar, Chris and Erick last Friday after our mass in school with the College of Science, which was offered to our batch because we will take the board the Monday after. I told them that it's very unlikely for my calculator to have its battery totally discharged on Monday, Sept. 5, the first day of the board. Of all the days that it could happen, why on Monday? Why during the board?
Come Saturday. While solving for Analytical Chem problems, the display on my calculator got crazy, displayed I-dunno-what-was-that characters and the display itself seems to fade. Oh no, this can't be happening. Since it has two-way power and solar energy can be used, I checked if it's only the battery having problems. I placed my calcu right beside the window and the display became normal again so I thought, I could have the battery changed tomorrow. Thank God it happened a day before the board!
Sunday. September 4. Mom woke me up early, really early, because we will visit the Antipolo Church and hear mass there. Mom's whole clan is devoted to the image of Mama Mary in Antipolo. She may be Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage to some, Nuestra Señora dela Paz y Buenviaje to some, but to us she will always be Nanay Paz.
Honestly, it looked like a scene from a music video.
I thought it was my first time to visit the church but my mom said I visited it a couple of times when I was a kid. I really don't remember. So I considered my visit as my first, and whenever I visit a church for the first time I always say my 3 wishes. One is to pass the board. The other two, well, you're not allowed to know. Haha!
Dizzizzit! Today is the first day of my board exam. I'm six hours away from torture.
Amen, Lord, Amen!
I met up with Leah and Peter last night to watch Gary Valenciano's concert at the Araneta Coliseum. This time, Gary performed with the San Miguel Philharmonic Orchestra under the baton of Mr. Ryan Cayabyab.
One thing came to my mind while watching the concert: Gary never fails to amuse his audience. I was not exactly a Gary V fan until I saw him perform live three years ago and since then I have been a Gary V convert. I have seen Gary's major concerts for three consecutive years and I must say I have seen how he turned from "pure energy" to inspirational to classical with an orchestra. Imagine singing "Di Bale Nalang" and "Shout for Joy" in ballad? The concert was not the typical energetic concert where he dances non-stop. It was purely different but definitely has the "Gary V." touch.
With guests Sheryn Regis, Eric Santos, Regine Velasquez (which was a surprise), and his two sons Paolo and Gab, Gary surely made a lot of people crazed, dazed, and amazed last night. That includes me, Leah, and Peter who kept on singing his songs until we reached home.
Another thing about Gary is that when you come to his concert, you are sure that you'll be inspired. It's so wonderful how he can talk about God freely and touch everyone's heart at the same time.
It's just this: AMAZING = GARY VALENCIANO.
I'm definitely looking forward to see Gary V's concert next year.
With one day before the board, how am I supposed to feel? Inspired. I entrust everything to Him. =)
Oh, one more thing. Paolo Valenciano, marry me!
+ For the Greater Glory of God! +